What He Is Doing For Me

i've been seriously stressed the past couple of weeks.

when i made the decision to go to africa, october seemed so incredibly far away. now our departure is fast approaching and it's all becoming a reality.

i've had every emotion possible about the trip. oh, i'm going. the thought of not going never crossed my mind. but a million other things have.

satan has been trying so hard to pound me down into the ground. it seems like he's making me his special little project and stressing me.

however, there is one that is mightier...God. i've spent some pretty serious time with God lately. i've been praying out loud so satan can hear me...so that he knows i'm not going to give in.

i think the biggest worry has been money. i still need donations to fund my trip. the money is coming in slowly but surely and i have complete faith that God will provide. also, i am out of vacation time so i will not be paid for the two weeks i'm in africa.

my second biggest worry is a personal issue. i've worried that i'm not a good enough Christian and not worthy of this opportunity. i shouldn't feel this way because God called me to do His work in africa...that i'm completely sure of. my team members are all wonderful and very knowledgeable Christians. i'm very, very proud to be a part of this team.

the third thing that's been bothering me is support. i had someone tell me she didn't see me going through with the trip because as i kid i was afraid to camp. i'll be honest...she hurt my feelings. others fear for my safety. i would never go where i might be harmed. i have two little boys to watch grow up!

after today's training session i'm feeling more at ease about the trip. i'm meeting with shannon, the other lady going, on monday to discuss some things and study our lessons.

i'd have to say that this week has been the hardest for me. i've spent some time chatting via instant messenger with my awesome friend tara in jacksonville. she has been such an encouragement to me. she's encouraged me to journal which i had already started. she told me to write scripture on note cards and carry them with me so i will have them handy when i need to focus on God.

the day after my cryfest with tara God showed me He's here and working on my side. as i was driving to work the song 'Praise You In This Storm' by Casting Crowns was playing on the radio when i noticed a rainbow in the sky. songs come on the radio at just the right time to remind me God is in charge and so awesome. i talked with my Sunday school teacher yesterday and he said i could have half of the money in his mission trip fund. unfortunately, there was nothing left in the fund but his generosity astounded me.

God also showed up at Goody's. yes, Goody's. i went there on my lunch break earlier this week to get some t-shirts for the trip. i didn't have much money to spend. I almost cried when the t-shirts i picked out rang up half price!

i've been talking to eli about my trip. he's really excited for me. eli has shown more excitement about my trip than anyone. he understands that i'm going to africa and that it's far away. he knows i'm going to tell others about Jesus. he was worried at first that i was leaving and not coming back but i cleared that up right away. when he says his bedtime prayers he prays for me.

so that's what i wanted to share with you...how God has been working in my life over the past week. He is ever present providing guidance, focus and t-shirts on sale for me.